 |
| (Rick Carroll's Photography) |
Balancing work, extracurricular activities and school can be stressful. But when you throw in a relationship and all the complexities it can bring, it may seem like a little too much at times. You’ve just spent two long summers interning at a top law firm and now, you’ve decided to go back to school to become a paralegal to pursue your dream. You've perused the the top online university options, you've registered, you're pumped! However, when you finally sit down with your boyfriend or girlfriend to share your good news, don’t be surprised if your excitement is met with some hesitation. Deciding to pursue a post-secondary education is probably one of the most important decisions you'll ever make in your life and the best gift you can give to yourself. But it's also like entering another relationship. With endless hours of essay writing, reading, and exam cramming ahead of you, you're going to need a good support system for this serious life change. Whether you're in a long term relationship, or just dating, it's important to sit down with your better half and chat with them about some of the challenges you're about to face, and get them on board. If they're also a student, you're half way there! If they're not, then the work begins.
If you are committed to making things work, there are several ways to reassure them that you’re not going to disappear down the proverbial academic rabbit hole. First off, go buy two of those giant calendars with the writable squares and write out a detailed schedule for both of. Include your class times, study group meetings, extracurricular activities, appointments and anything else that might keep the two of you from spending time together. This way your partner won't be hounding you to come out to party, they'll have everything in black and white.
Okay, so now you're looking at your calendar, hyperventilating because it looks as though you've been sentenced to academic hell for the next four months. Don't panic, it's not all bad, remember, this is an investment in yourself. The next step you need to take is to get out some colored markers, because you're about to pen in some fun! Date night. Fit as many of them that you can muster. It's just as important for you to take a break from your studies, as it is to maintain your GPA. They don't have to be elaborate dates, but make them fun. Do things you wouldn't normally do, like pretend to be a tourist in your own town, or take a sculpting class together.
Holidays, birthdays and special occasions should be played up big time. Remember, this person used to have your full attention, and now they have to share you with your studies. You're a student, so unless you're a part of the Gates family, the wallet is a lot lighter these days. Don't think extravagant, use your imagination, and get creative. Make an effort, and make up for all the time you're not able to give them.
Share your new academic experience with them! The best way to absorb the material you learn, is to teach others. Talk to them about what you're learning, and share your enthusiasm. Don't intimidate them with your ideas about quantum physics, try something simpler, or something controversial, that might provoke an interesting conversation. Everyone likes to feel included, and the more you share with your better half, the stronger your relationship will become. Who knows, maybe you'll inspire them to go back to school too!
