Super Creative and Affordable Date Ideas

I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little tired of having to shell out half of my pay cheque on a night out on the down. Remember back in the day when going to a movie was actually affordable? Nowadays, dinner and a movie can set you back more than a $100. If you're fortunate enough to be on a generous executive assistant salary, this may not seem expensive to you. But if you're struggling along, going on a movie date twice a week might have you dipping into your grocery budget! Look, romance doesn't have a price tag, and if your date can appreciate an inexpensive and meaningful experience over an overpriced bottle of Chardonnay in a hoity toity restaurant, than you might want to swap them out for someone who does! If you're looking to romance your sweetheart without breaking the bank, here are some fab ideas for you!

1) Buy a bouquet or two of locally grown flowers (because we want to be as sustainable as possible!), stand on a busy street corner and hand them out to people going past to bring a smile to their face!

2) Make up your own survey, grab a couple of clipboards, and hit the town. Ask random people, in random places, than publish your findings in a free blog.

3) Have a potluck dinner, instead of going out! Pick a theme, like Arabian Nights or an 'Evening in Paris' and you can make dessert together!

4) Dump out a box of Lego and have at it! This may sound like something you did back in pre-school (because it was) but it's a great way to learn to work together, bring out each other's creativity and learn something about your date you probably wouldn't learn if you were sitting silently at a movie.

5) Spend a Saturday afternoon browsing garage sales. Give each other a budget of $5 and have a competition. Whoever can buy the weirdest object for $5 or less wins a prize of some sort. The prize can be whatever you decide!

A date doesn't have to be expensive, and it should never be boring! You want to put your best foot forward, so trying something a little out of the ordinary and be open-minded. Life is meant to be an adventure, no matter what you're doing!

There's No Rulebook, So Stop Judging!

Almost every women's magazine has a list of rules that every relationship should follow to be successful. Rules to follow, rules to break, rules, rules, RULES! The last time I checked, human beings didn't come with manuals. My mom used to scream at the top of her lungs, "It's not like you kids came with a rulebook, I can't do everything right! Now clean your room!" I may have been giving her faces behind her back as I begrudgingly cleaned my room, but she was so right. 

So when it comes to an intimate relationship, are there rules? Sure, but only if you count the ones that you make for yourself. We've all done things in our relationships or had things done to us by our better halves that would make our friends cringe. He didn't call after a week. He answered his phone while having a romantic dinner in a beautiful restaurant. Or maybe she made embarrassed you in front of your friends by pitching a fit about something ridiculous. For one person, any of those things might be a deal breaker, and for other's, they may not see it as a big deal. Yet as friends, we often won't hesitate to pass judgement on our friends, and proceed them to chastise them for accepting a certain behaviour. So, what gives us the right?

I've leant my ear to many a friend going through relationship troubles. And I have definitely been guilty of judging a situation before hearing the other side of the story. But after spending the last ten years in two very serious relationships, I've learned to be a more supportive and tolerant friend. Unless you're a trained CIA agent, you cannot possibly know the inner workings of someone else's relationship. And as I recognized the numerous imperfections in my own relationships, I realized that I myself tolerated a number of the same things, that I had judged my girlfriends for putting up with. I had become a hypocrite of the worst kind! 

Take my word for it, it's better not to judge, but better to simply lend an ear. Relationships are complicated, and if you're in one, you should know that!  Give a girlfriend (or guy friend) a break, and stop bringing out the imaginary rule book! 

Can You Affair Proof Your Relationship?

There are any number of reasons why a relationship falls apart, but one of the most painful, and most common, is infidelity. An estimated 30 - 60% of married folks in the United States will engage in some form of infidelity, whether its emotional or physical, over the course of their relationship. Throw that factor in  with the divorce odds stacked against you, in combination with staggering infidelity statistics, it begs the question, how on earth can a relationship survive? Is it possible to affair-proof your relationship? Some of the top experts are saying though we can't control the actions of our partners, we can certainly be more plugged into our relationships and help inoculate ourselves against the pain of being cheated on if we are putting in as much effort into the relationship as humanly possible. So how can you avoid the pain of infidelity?

1) Remember the "Golden Rule"! An individual who has nothing to hide, is not in the business of hiding something! If you start noticing a sudden shift in your partner's pattern of behaviour, it's important to get to understand the motivation behind the change. This is where you have to become a bit of an FBI agent, in that you have to learn the art of what I like to call, non-invasive surveillance. An example of this might be hanging out in the bathroom while your partner gets ready. If they're hitting the gym all of a sudden, offer to work out with them. It's subtle, but it gives you a way to observe them and gauge

2) Face problems head on, don't face away! When trouble hits in a relationship, often, our first instinct is to shy away. Here's a little newsflash, that NEVER WORKS! Issues in a relationship don't just go away, they need to be worked out! If you are getting that feeling in your gut that something isn't quite right, it probably isn't. It's time to open up some dialogue, and time to air your grievances.

3) Don't accuse, discuss! Accusing your partner of cheating can have devastating effects on an otherwise, solid relationship. If you're wrong, you run the risk of your partner ever wanting to share anything with you again. Permanently damaging your relationship because of jealousy isn't worth it. So you better be sure! Ask questions, but be tactful. Ask your partner if they're happy? If they feel like something is missing? What do they need from you?

4) Work on your relationship every single day. A major mistake that most couples make is only working on things when they're really, really bad. What about when things are good? Or what about when things are mediocre? Of the course of a relationship, you are going to face a number of challenges. Some you'll be prepared for, and other's might blind side you. If you are each spending every day to make the other loved, happy, supported and wanted, it's a formula for success, with little o no room for thoughts of infidelity to creep in.

5) Don't be afraid to jump out of your comfort zones! Look, life is going to hit the doldrums every now and then, that's just part of existence. One of the main excuses partners will use to justify cheating on their partner is because they're bored. We can't always be exciting, but we can certainly do our best to keep life interesting by trying new things together. Take some art classes even if neither of you are particularly artsy! Make an effort to get outta dodge every now and then. Leave your problems, rekindle the romance, and make some new memories!

Why Should Men Do all the Wooing?

I am fortunate enough to be with a lovely man. He's tall, dark and handsome, intelligent, and most importantly, he adores me. We've been together coming up on four years, and we've experienced some of the most amazing things together, but like every other relationship, every now and then, life hits the doldrums. There seems to be this misconception out there in society that men are wholeheartedly responsible for women's happiness. Being the fiercely independent, strong feminist that I am, though I love to hold men to task wherever possible, after spending the last decade in two very serious relationships, it's become very obvious, that men are not inherently romantic, and sometimes, we need to take the reins.

This year, I decided that I would be taking over the anniversary plans this year. In all his good intentions, my partner is usually scrambling at the last minute to put something together, and though it's usually great, it's not exactly well-thought out, and watching him stress over his procrastination is pure torture! So, to save myself the frustration of watching him scramble and to let him off the hook, I've decided to steal him away for the weekend at a beautiful B&B in a beautiful little city. But you don't have whisk your better half away for an expensive weekend to impress, just use a little imagination, watch the romance ignite!

Turn Dinner into All Night Dining! Re-create a fabulous meal that you've shared somewhere. My boyfriend and I both adore Bali, and some of the most intimate dinners we've shared as a couple were overlooking Uluwatu Beach. So every so often, I bring out our best dishware, and spend the afternoon making a feast fit for a Balinese King! I throw our pictures up on the flat screen, light some tea lights and we laugh the night away!

Dance..just because! Whether you're recreating the Thriller video in the middle of your kitchen, or, breakin' out some sultry latin moves in the backyard, music is the language of love. My boyfriend and I took salsa together back in the day, and every now and then, we throw on a little Buena Vista Social Club and away we go.

Map Out Make-Out Hot Spots! Grab your honey's arm, and take him on an intimate tour of your neighbourhood! Steal a passionate kiss or two in every nook and cranny around town. Make it into a game, and get his engines revving. Just be prepared for the tour to end a little early, because I guarantee he'll be snagging you to make a dash back to the house.


Sneak Saucy Love Notes into his Lunch. This is one of my favourites and works every time! Remind him about a passionate night you spent together, and how you'd like to re-create in the very near future! There's no way he can have a bad day after reading that, plus, he'll walk through the door with a little more pep in his step!

A relationship is a two way street, and women need to stop trying to live their lives like they're in the midst of a Jane Austen novel. You can't sit back and expect men to do all the romancing! If you do, you'll be waiting until the end of time. So let's step it up and show the men how it's done!

The Pitter Patter of His Kids Little Feet

Being an active member of the dating scene is not without its risks. As a woman it can be a tiresome, emotional journey that requires us to dodge the many psychological mine fields that men can toss our way. Whew, I'm getting tired just thinking about it! When I was on the market, I met my fair share of men with every issue under the sun from being emotionally unavailable to be so emotionally available, I had to walk around with a kleenex in my pocket in case he decided to gush over a cute puppy. But the most difficult relationship I ever entered was one with a handsome young probation officer who came with a set of baggage that I wasn't quite prepared for. The kind of baggage that talks back, makes irrational demands and takes up all your personal time. I'm talking rugrats.

The only experience I had with children, was once being one! I had absolutely no idea how to act around them, or what to expect. And of course, there was the ex-wife to be concerned about? Did I need to make a pre-emptive strike and get myself a restraining order for the impending onslaught of phone calls, text messages and emails from a possible jealous ex partner? I didn't get the restraining order, but I did the next best thing; I phoned up my best girlfriend who was dating a man with two children and this is what she told me:

1) Never think that you will ever be anything but second in the relationship. The kids were there first and until they're adults and out on their own, this will always be the case. If you are looking for a true partner, you want a man to put his children first, and if he starts cancelling plans with his children to be with you, this is not acceptable.

2) Be prepared not to be introduced to the children for some time, in fact, you may even be a secret. Try to put yourself in his shoes for a moment, and remember that children are highly impressionable and sensitive. They are probably already struggling with having to be shuttled back and forth between parents, and adding you to the equation complicates things further.

3) He might not want any more children. This could very well be a deal breaker for you if you're still dreaming about motherhood. You may not be sure if you want them or not, but you certainly don't want to invest your life in someone who doesn't want the same things as you, especially when it comes to babies! So ask early on in the relationship if he would ever consider having more.

4) Money isn't going to come easy! Remember, he will be financially responsible to those little ones until they're at least 18 years old. Unless he's independently wealthy, be prepared to live a modest lifestyle (which really isn't such a big deal when you think about it, money isn't happiness!).

5) And lastly, there will always be another woman. The ex will always be in his life (significantly less when the children leave home). If you are going to play a significant role in this man's life, you are going to have some semblance of a relationship with her whether you like it or not. You don't have to become the best of friends, you do have to be amicable and friendly, especially in front of the children.