She's a Man-Eater!

It's Friday night, and you are mere moments away from what feels like the most nerve-racking date you've had in years. You're feeling a little rusty, but you've also pulled out all the stops. You opted for the $40 haircut instead of the $9.95 buzz cut from Great Clips, and you've invested in some clothes that don't scream "my ex bought me this, and I only wear it under pain of death." And just to ensure you close the deal at the nights' end, you went and spent a good twenty minutes chatting with the 'super-fabulous' sales guy at the cologne counter at Macy's, and he's helped you pick out a fragrance that says: "I'm uber masculine, yet very much in touch with my metro sexual side, would you like to sleep with me." Finally, you've subjected yourself to as many episodes of Sex and the City as you could emotionally muster without turning into one of the characters, and retained just enough information to get a decent read on this mystery woman you've been set up with. The cab's arrived. You take a deep breath and step out into the night with high hopes of meeting Mrs. Right.

The date's going well. Things are progressing along nicely, but then, you've only been at the table for 5 minutes. So far, the verdict is: She's beautiful, she's funny, and most importantly (and even surprisingly), she actually seems like she's into you! Things are looking up. But it's all going to come crashing down, because your server has made his way to your table to grab your drink order and ramble through the chef's specials for the evening, and your date has, in one brief moment, gone from Miss America, to Miss Pain-in-the-ass. And in the midst of his exuberant spiel, she abruptly interrupts, only to announce that several of the wine selections are in fact on the wrong place on the menu, and she would like to conduct a formal dress down of the sommelier. Oh yeah, it's going to be that kind of date.

You politely listen as she emasculates the poor sommelier, and when he disappears off toward the kitchen with his tail between his legs, the poor waiter, who's been cowering in the corner, feeling utterly terrorized, has tip toed to the table to take down the order. A similar interaction ensues when he has the nerve to announce that the dish Ms. Hide would like to order has cilantro on it, shock and horror!

At this point, you'd like to be anywhere in the world other than in this chair in front of this culinary tyrant. You're probably sitting there wondering if this piece of work has a probation officer, or if she's just one of those spoiled, self-entitled girls that your mama always warned you about! Either way, the lesson here should be obvious, but in case it isn't, here it is: If someone is incapable of treating everyone with warmth, kindness and respect, and not just the object of their affection, they are not worth the time of day. So it's time to move on, and move up. Happy Hunting!

Nights Out Should Be Mandatory!

Every Friday, my better half texts me to make sure it's okay to go for a few drinks with is colleagues. He's not so much asking, as much as he's checking to make sure we don't have other plans, and I always say, "of course!" It's one of the reasons why we've been together so long. We both appreciate the importance of spending time with ourselves and with our friends. It's not necessary to spend every waking moment with each other! As long as there's an open line of communication open and plans that you make together aren't constantly being interrupted, spending time apart is good for the both of you!

At the beginning of last week, my partner decided to ring up his close group of guy friends and organize a boys night out for the upcoming weekend. A few years back, there would have been a resounding YES! But these days, my partner is the only one who doesn't have a wife, child and baby on the way, instead, he has a girlfriend who works a million hours a week. Dealing with friends with kids is a whole other matter, planning boys-night-out out requires permission from the wives, and that's not a guaranteed thing.

Now, I'm not a parent, and I don't pretend to know what it's like to be at home with a newborn and a toddler, but I can certainly empathize. But what I do know, is that each parent needs and deserves a break from the chaos every now and then. Infants may require around-the-clock care, but that doesn't mean that the two of you have to be chained to your little tyke until they're off to Kindergarten. Despite what the North American mentality is about child-rearing, you don't have to give up your life to raise your children. Provided you're not some sort of vagabond, or a participant in illicit activities, your kids are along for the ride, and not the other way around.

If you want to go out with your girls to let your hair down, do it! You just spent 9 months doing absolutely everything for that little being inside of you, take your life back and have some fun. And your better half may not have had to physically go through a pregnancy, they've endured your mood swings, bizarre bodily functions, odd cravings, random fits and absurd demands. Don't you think they deserve a break too?

Look, you don't need to be a psychology major to know that not taking time for yourselves now, means your relationship is going to be on life support in the near future. So relax, let your beau get out for some all-important guy time. And don't feel guilty about calling up your gals for a spa day!

Why Snooping is Detrimental!

My partner and I have been together for just over four years now, and one of the reasons why the relationship is so solid, is because we trust each other, completely. When my beau says he's going out for drinks with the boys, that exactly what's he's doing, and he's never given me reason to think otherwise. We're very inclusive when it comes to spend time with each other's friends, and we don't keep secrets, secrets are poisonous. With all of that said, we also fully respect each other's privacy, and that means that neither of us engage in snooping around each other's Facebook, Hotmail, Gmail, or any other type of mail accounts.

Now, I should have prefaced the earlier statement with a little story about my history of snooping. I've been in two long-term relationships in the past twelve years, and at the beginning of both of them, I definitely did my fair share of tossing drawers, rifling shoeboxes and running around like a was a full blown FBI Agent, trying to accumulate as much information I possibly could. Go ahead, judge away, but don't act like you've never done it yourself! Or at least considered it. What I haven't done, is hacked into anyone's personal accounts. It's wrong, it's absurd, and it's ILLEGAL! But that doesn't seem to stop couples from hacking into each other's accounts, sneak reading their partner's private messages, acting like complete fools!

What the heck gives you the right, whether you're a man or a woman, to read your partner's private thoughts, and conversations? I'm sure many have you felt like your privacy has been invaded at one point or another, I mean, we've all been teenagers at one point in our lives right? Parents just love invaded their kids privacy! Okay, now, remember how enraged it made you? Why would you want to inflict that feeling on someone you love?

Sherlock Holmesing (yup, I just made Sherlock a verb) around in your partners private email accounts may seem like a harmless past time, but all you're doing is guaranteeing yourself a first class ticket to singledom.  You want to know something about them, here's a novel idea, ask them!