How to Survive a Break Up

There a million break-up books out there with a million different pieces of advice on how to go through a break up. Some say address the past, some say ignore the past. Some say get back out there as soon as possible, and some say stay away from relationships and take time to work on yourself. How do you know what advice will work? The truth is, you don't know. Unless you're a break-up artist and make it a habit of dropping partners like a bad habit, knowing how to cope isn't something you can necessarily  read in a book or a magazine. Every relationship is different, and you'll feel differently about each person you leave (or whom leaves you).

I broke up with my fiance of six years a few years back, and while it was one of the most painful decisions I ever had to make, in hindsight, it was the most intelligent decisions I'd ever made, and it benefitted both of us in the end. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I didn't know what I was going to do. I couldn't imagine waking up the next day without him, but I'd made the decision and I had to be a big girl and accept the consequences. Being the type A personality that I was, I approached the break-up process like I was a project manager. I compartmentalized ever aspect of the failed relationship and decided what I wanted to take with me, and what I knew I had to leave to the ghosts of relationships past. Some of these tips may not be for you, but these are some things that helped me not only survive my break up relatively unscathed, but also maintained the integrity of the relationship itself.

1) Stop being friends on Facebook! There is nothing worse than seeing someone you loved change their status from engaged to single and then into a relationship. Even though, you know it's over, you don't need a reminder that you are no longer the main fixture in their lives. No matter how strong you think you are, it's still painful to see photos of your ex-partner with a new love interest. So save yourself the heartache and hit delete.

2) Change your bedding! I know this sounds superficial, but I'm telling you, it was a small act that made a big difference in my break up. Scent is a potent reminder of a lover past, and it was time to move on. I marched myself down to Bed Bath & Beyond and bought myself luxurious new threads. I forced myself to try to physically disconnect from the memory of our intimacy, and embrace a new me.

3) Move Your Booty! Getting active was not only a fabulous distraction, but it gave me a renewed confidence when I did work up the courage to get back out on the dating scene. Personally, dancing was a new found passion of mine, and I also did a program called P90X that allowed me to work out my aggressions, and get ripped doing it!

4) A little self indulgence goes a long way! I have to admit, I am in favour of a little retail therapy to soothe a mending heart. Emphasis on little. I went out and bought myself some expensive cosmetics that I wouldn't have purchased during the relationship because I was concerned about finances and made an effort to get dolled up more often.

5) Make up for lost time! Spend time with friends, family, colleagues and anyone else who fell to the wayside during the relationship. When we're romantically involved, we often cocoon ourselves aways from friends and family and fall out of touch. Now is a good time to reconnect!