Relationship Rescue 101

Here we are in a new year. It's been a season of champagne, celebration, feasting, gift-giving, gift-receiving, and holiday chaos, and now the two of you are left standing alone, amidst the tattered party favours, facing another 365 days of life. Perhaps it hasn't been a kind year to the two of you. Perhaps there was financial strife, perhaps significant changes, like a job lost, or the loss of a family member. Or perhaps it was a year of success for the two of you, financial gain, new friends, fabulous vacations. Nonetheless, whether the two of you faced great gain or great loss,  a solid relationship will stand the test of time, but only with a great deal of work. There are many aspects of a relationship that can be overlooked, after all, no one is perfect. However, there are certain issues, that if left to fester, will stop a relationship, cold. And the two of you will be left standing, placing blame, and wondering what went wrong along the way.

Jealousy. We all have our own skeletons, our own insecurities, and when left unchecked, they have the potential to poison a current relationship. Jealousy is cancerous in any relationship, whether it's romantic, between siblings, parents and children or likewise. Jealousy between loving partners creates resentment, depression, even hatred. If you find yourself listening in on your partner's phone calls, sneaking a peek at incoming text messages on their phone, or dissecting the events of their evening whilst interrogating them as if you had a forensic psychology degree, you're reaching the point of no return. STOP. And ask yourself, "Why am I jealous, and am I being fair?"Is your partner giving you a good reason to be jealous? Are they an outward flirt? Do they make plans and spend copious amounts of time out and not with you? If so, have an honest conversation with them about your feelings. You don't have to use the "J" word, but you certainly have the right to convey your feelings. Don't let a relationship disintegrate because of a lack of communication. Not sure what it means to have good communication? Try this relationship communication test, and see how you fair. If your idea of communication means grunting hello and good-bye to each other, time to roll up your sleeves and get to work!

All fizzle, no sizzle. You've heard it a thousand times, relationships take work, and you can't be in love with each other all the time. The passion will come and go over the years, and that's perfectly normal, just don't let it go until the next presidential election! There are a myriad of reasons why your sex life could be in the pits; Stress at work or with the finances, scheduling conflicts with each other, built-up resentment from past sexual issues in the relationship, or health issues. Dr. Phil often says that relationships are about "negotiation and compromise", and that we need to "carve out time" for each other. When's the last time you had a raw and explicit conversation with your partner about meeting each other's sexual needs? Umm yeah, as Steve in Sex in the City once said to Miranda after a fairly uneventful session of lovemaking, "there was snow on the ground. Make time for each other, life is so incredibly short, why waste it?

Sweating the small stuff. Admittedly, the term 'don't sweat the small stuff" always felt like some philosophical drivel that was made up by someone who wouldn't know what a problem was, if it smacked them upside the head! Alas, there is some truth to this rationale. It is so easy to get caught up in seemingly never-ending bad habits, and annoyances. Mundane issues like housework, errands, mowing the lawn and tasks of the like are never worth starting a fight over. Let it go! LAUGH! If one of you can see through your fog of indignance over who last took the trash out, look at the other, think of something hysterical, and have a good laugh. So as not to fuel an already flickering blaze, quickly tell the other a reason why you fell in love with them, and I guarantee, that heat will be redirected into a far more productive activity! When life gets tense, laughter is always the most effective way to disarm eachother. Watch a funny YouTube video, reminisce about a funny trip you took, and always remember that the two of you are partners in crime set to take on the world, not each other!