There's No Rulebook, So Stop Judging!

Almost every women's magazine has a list of rules that every relationship should follow to be successful. Rules to follow, rules to break, rules, rules, RULES! The last time I checked, human beings didn't come with manuals. My mom used to scream at the top of her lungs, "It's not like you kids came with a rulebook, I can't do everything right! Now clean your room!" I may have been giving her faces behind her back as I begrudgingly cleaned my room, but she was so right. 

So when it comes to an intimate relationship, are there rules? Sure, but only if you count the ones that you make for yourself. We've all done things in our relationships or had things done to us by our better halves that would make our friends cringe. He didn't call after a week. He answered his phone while having a romantic dinner in a beautiful restaurant. Or maybe she made embarrassed you in front of your friends by pitching a fit about something ridiculous. For one person, any of those things might be a deal breaker, and for other's, they may not see it as a big deal. Yet as friends, we often won't hesitate to pass judgement on our friends, and proceed them to chastise them for accepting a certain behaviour. So, what gives us the right?

I've leant my ear to many a friend going through relationship troubles. And I have definitely been guilty of judging a situation before hearing the other side of the story. But after spending the last ten years in two very serious relationships, I've learned to be a more supportive and tolerant friend. Unless you're a trained CIA agent, you cannot possibly know the inner workings of someone else's relationship. And as I recognized the numerous imperfections in my own relationships, I realized that I myself tolerated a number of the same things, that I had judged my girlfriends for putting up with. I had become a hypocrite of the worst kind! 

Take my word for it, it's better not to judge, but better to simply lend an ear. Relationships are complicated, and if you're in one, you should know that!  Give a girlfriend (or guy friend) a break, and stop bringing out the imaginary rule book!